Monday, September 08, 2008

Lend a Line Poem Two

This poem uses Raven's line, just like the last one did, as the first line in a new poem.

Rising ...


Trailing her midnight cloak behind

an ache for flight she spirals rage,

flays time with scorn though it's blind

trailing her, midnight cloak behind



her now. Caught in the wires, unkind

visions and a drowning madman age

trailing, her midnight cloak – behind

an ache for flight. She spirals. Rage.




By Shell from Forget Me Now

11 comments:

punatik said...

Wow, this is certainly a very powerful,and energetic piece. It brings to mind windershins , because of the spiral. I really enjoyed it. Thanks Shell.

Emilio

forgetmenow said...

i'm delighted you enjoyed this, Emilio. a couple of words should have been in italics but never mind, you caught the whirl of energy going on. thank you for such a lovely comment!

forgetmenow said...

er .. windershins? sorry, what are they, haven't heard that word before ...

writerwoman said...

I fixed the italicisizing. Sorry about that.

From Wikipeida
Widdershins (sometimes withershins, widershins or widderschynnes) means to take a course opposite that of the sun, going counterclock-wise, lefthandwise, or to circle an object, by always keeping it on the left.[1] The Oxford English Dictionary's entry cites the earliest uses of the word from 1513, where it was found in the phrase widdersyns start my hair, i.e my hair stood on end.

The use of the word also means "in a direction opposite to the usual",

forgetmenow said...

oh wow, Sara, thank you so much for fixing the italics AND for that-word .. i looked on dictionary.com but it wasn't there!

punatik said...

Hi Shell,
In some ritual magic, windershins are used while saying spells or incantations. I've noticed , that at times when young children run in circles, they ofter choose to run counter clockwise. Interesting ?

Emilio

forgetmenow said...

that really brings it home to me now, Emilio, thanks! yes, this "she" was definitely crafting her rage ...

soooo maybe children - often so much closer to instinctive magic - are doing the same? hopefully not with rage ... *gulp*

punatik said...

Hi Shell
Some of my friends have children and when I watch them play with others, sooner or later they run around in circles. The direction is alomost always counterclockwise.A good friend who is a teacher noticed that too. They are just having fun. The emerging pattern is interesting to watch. Instinctively, you may have been moving in a circle to craft the rage of the poem.
Emilio

punatik said...

oops, I meant "She"...The character in the poem.

forgetmenow said...

lol ... indeed Emilio! may be why i chose the ritualistic triolet form which is kind of circular ... *heh

punatik said...

As an uneducated poet in the classic sense, I had to look up Triolet. 8 line stanza,2 rhymes, 2 refrains(brief descrition). After re-reading your poem, I found it even better than when I first read it . Great Work !!! I'm learning here.

Emilio